Wrinkly Old Senseis
by Ally1313
Summary: Some ninja grow old with grace and dignity. However, Miato Gai and Hatake Kakashi are not part of those some.


Some ninja grow old with grace and ease. However, Miato Gai and Hatake Kakashi are not part of those some.

Hey everyone! This is an experimental story. I don't know weather or not to go through with it, so read it and tell me what you think! I know it's really bad and not very funny, but I just felt like writing it down...

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto, but I do own Team Gai. SO HANDS OFF.

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Chapter One- Where is the damn tapioca?

It was just your average day at the Konaha Retirement Home. The old, once great ninja sat around in their wheel chairs, watching opera on the television, telling stories of their old missions and adventures to the staff who sat around feeding them their food, playing games with them, or simply just listening to their flash backs. They all had amazing tales to tell, about battles they fought, missions they took, and about how they saved the world in their own little way. All the little Genin, assigned to this job as D-ranked missions, listened to these stories, hoping one day they could be this wonderful, this amazing, even in their late years.

However, there was one pair of has-been shinobi in the corner. The volunteers preferred to watch them from a distance, having heard many stories about them.

Their names were Hatake Kakashi and Miato Gai.

In the prime of their shinobi days, they were famous and powerful. Mission requesters queued in line for their services, and many children over the village looked up to them and hoped one day that they could become as magnificent as the copy-cat ninja and the green beast.

But of course, that was back then.

Now, they are old and deranged. They have yet to except the fact that they are OLD. They attempt to pick fights with the staff, convinced they will win, try to accept missions, and nightly "break for its" were to be expected. These were the stories they heard, and even though they thought the were "cool," they were too afraid to approach them.

But the two men didn't mind. They weren't old and didn't need care after all…

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"GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Came a screeching voice that could be heard all the way across Konaha. 

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????????????????" Came a reply, even louder.

People all over wondered where the noise was coming from, but it soon became apparent it was coming from none other than the two uh…for lack of better word, hero's of our story.

Kakashi and Gai sat side-by-side in their wheelchairs at the table. Gai had gray hair and eyebrows, though they had yet to change their bowl-cut and rectangular shape. He wore an over large white T-shirt with overly large green sweatpants. Over the years, his muscle had disappeared, leaving the skin hanging off the bone in a disgusting fashion, though he still thought he was the sexiest thing in the whole damn world.

Kakashi on the hand had gained a fair amount of weight. He now had an enormous pot belly, which protruded out from under his shirt. He still wore his mask, though over the years it had somehow managed to turn…pink? …Ok then.

"Can you please pass the tapioca?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know, it's so far away…" Gai said, looking the four feet down the table at the tapioca bowl.

"Come on, Gai, I'm hungry!" Kakashi exclaimed, picking up his spoon in which got sucked into his wrinkles and fat.

"Uh…Your fat and wrinkles just sucked in that spoon…" Gai said, pointing at his hand.

"I'm aware of that, thank you." Kakashi replied, angry. He could no loner pick up anything without it being sucked up.

"How about we just get Lee to get it for us?" Kakashi asked.

"I would, but he got sucked into your fat and wrinkles yesterday…" Gai replied. His bottom lip quivered for a second, then he burst into tears. "My baby! My poor, poor baby! Stuck in you fat! Why, WHY?" Gai yelped out.

"I'm sorry Gai, but I can't help it. We'll get him out somehow." Kakashi said consolingly, patting him on the back.

But then, a ripping sound could be heard as Kakashi's wrinkles and fat sucked up Gai's shirt, right of his back.

A girl could be heard screaming in the distance, then a thumping noise as she fainted.

"Whoops…"

"Damn you Kakashi! I liked that shirt!"

"I'm sorry!" Kakashi yelled as he in turn burst into tears.

Gai gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! I'll just get that weird lady that I think I know from somewhere to get me a new one."

Kakashi stopped crying at once. "The sexy one?"

Gai nodded. "The sexy one…"

Kakashi happily jumped up and down as best as he could in the wheelchair and said, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Gai then flipped up the arm of the wheelchair and pressed a big red button.

Footsteps could then be heard coming down the hall, along with some muttering about how this was so stupid and how he wished he could just get rid of the…well we're trying to keep this pg-13.

"Here she comes!" Gai squealed.

"Do I look okay?" Kakashi asked in a panic.

"Who cares if you look okay, it's me that really matters!"

The two then started bickering, but stopped when they heard, "What do you want?"

Gai and Kakashi looked up see a "girl" with silver eyes, long black hair, pale skin, and wearing some sort of male nurses uniform.

"Hey there smexy…" Gai said, waving at "her" in a flirtatious manner as Kakashi giggles.

"Gai-sensei, I am not a girl, and I am not gay. You are too old for me, and I am your old student, NEJI! Stop hitting on me every time I come in here! What the BEEP do you want?" Neji yelled.

"She so wants you, she's just playing hard to get." Kakashi whispered to Gai, who nodded back.

"It's okay, you can have a little hunk of the Gai pie if you want." Gai said, growling at Neji.

"…I may vomit." Neji said, turning a delicate shade of green.

"Do it on me sweetie, I want anything that belongs to YOU." Kakashi answered, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

Gai and Neji looked at eachother, then at Kakashi. "That sucked." Gai said, "I think you need some tips from the _love doctor_."

Neji looked at Gai. "And who would that be?"

Gai gave him an incredulous look. "Me of course!"

"…And now I will vomit." Neji then promptly turned away and walked to the trash can in the corner to up heave his lunch.

Kakashi turned to Gai. "She so wants me."

"You? She wants me!"

"NO me!"

"ME!""ME!"

"On guard!" Gai screamed, picking up his spoon and throwing it at Kakashi, only to watch it get sucked in. "NO!" He yelped, then made a dive for it when Kakashi held up a hand and stopped him.

"It's too dangerous!" He yelled valiantly.

"Oh, Kakashi, you really do care!" Gai said, tears in his eyes!

"Hug me, brother!" Kakashi yelled, throwing out his arms.

Gai slowly wheeled the two inches to where Kakashi was to try and give him a hug. He panted heavily, the wheel chair creaking and groaning.

-Three Hours Later-

"I'm here Kakashi!" Gai yelled, having finally made it.

"What?" Kakashi jolted awake from his sleep, drool running down him chin.

"The hug, remember?" Gai said patiently.

"The wha- Oh right!" Kakashi then held out his arms and him and Gai started to lean towards each other when a hand somehow erupted from Kakashi's stomach, reaching for Gai.

"No! Kakashi, control your wrinkles!" Gai yelled, holding his skeleton-like arms up for defense.

"I can't, they have a mind of their own!" Kakashi yelled, trying to force the wrinkles back as they franticly reached for Gai.

The hand grabbed Gai's head and started pulling it in, attempting to capture him as they had done just yesterday to Lee.

"Help me, smexy lady! NEJI!" Gai yelled, fighting to keep himself from being sucked in completely.

"What?" Neji asked, turning from the opera on TV to see his once-sensei fighting with Kakashi's wrinkled, who had somehow manifested itself into a hand.

"Oh, crap! I'll save you!" Neji yelled, leaping up from his seat and dashing over to Gai's wheel-chair. He grabbed Gai around the waist from behind, rested his feet on top of the wheels, and started pulling.

Kakashi's wrinkled gave out a roar, pulling harder on Gai's head.

Gai screamed at the top of his lungs, though it was hard to tell he was because it was being muffled by the hand of fatty doom.

Neji pulled even harder, growing red in the face as he yanked with all of his might.

Kakashi thought in a panic about what he supposed to do, when he remembered their weakness- PINK HAIRED WHORES.

He flipped open the handle on his wheelchair and pressed a big, pink button. Seconds later, the window smashed and Sakura came in.

"What do you- AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Sakura screamed as the hand let go of Gai, and grabbed her, tugging her into the fatty, wrinkly depths.

The hands then pulled itself back in, burped, and then all was silent. Neji let go of Gai, and went pack to his opera. Kakashi and Gai just stared at eachother for a couple of seconds.

"Where's the damn tapioca?" Kakashi asked.

Gai shrugged.

* * *

Well, that's it. Tell me if you think I should continue it or not. Bye! 


End file.
